“If you always do…”
The end of another wrestling season always brings self-reflection and regrouping for those wrestlers who didn’t achieve their goals. This time of reflection accounts for almost every wrestler in the Country with the exception of those golden few that stood atop their mountain. The disappointment of not achieving your goals can cause you to look two ways; backward or forward.
One winter weekend while at the University Oklahoma, I drove to my coach Jack Spates’ house. I knocked on the door and walked in. On this day he wasn’t home. I sat down on his couch to call him and see if he would be home anytime soon. There on the coffee table sat a lone 3x5 index card. In hand-written ink it read, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve already got.” It wasn’t addressed to me but looking back I can only assume it was divinely meant for my viewing and consequent contemplating.
In my first few seasons at OU, I didn’t have the success on the mat that I had hoped for. There were many reasons, but not being one to resort to excuses, I will simply say I had not made the necessary ‘changes’ needed to achieve my ultimate goals. After four years in the Sooner program, I was four years older but I had not made any real adjustments in my life or on the mat that would lead me to better results.
After placing sixth at the 2002 NCAA Championship at 165 pounds, I decided I would make the move up to 174 pounds for my senior season. I didn’t have a lot of trouble making the lower weight. I was simply tired of the mundane task of stepping on a scale day in and day out while contemplating my next meal. I wanted my last season on the mat to be fun regardless of outcome and watching my weight wasn’t fun at all.
The decision wasn’t well received by all and they made their initial opinions known. This included those in my most intimate support group including my coaches and father. Why would a returning All-American and top 3 Nationally ranked wrestler move up a weight class for no reason other than to never have to worry about his weight? Their reservations held water (no pun intended).
But I had been married to the scale my entire life. And for me, it was the part of wrestling I despised the most. So I decided to get rid of it in hopes that something else much more fun and enjoyable would take its place. Knowing I would need to get stronger to make up for my lack of size and strength at the new weight, I stuck to a regimented lifting program throughout the summer. At the start of the school year I began to add one extra lifting session into my weekly schedule on top of the mandatory team lifts.
I started the year ranked outside of the top 5 or even 10 depending on the poll at my new weight class. When December rolled around, many including myself began to second- guess the weight change. A third place showing at the Missouri Open further fueled the second-guessing with a loss to a freshman (Ben Askren). A week later, I would avenge the loss to Askren and win the Oklahoma Open.
About that time, I began weekly individual training sessions with Barry Weldon. Barry was a former NCAA Champion for Iowa State University and was in his second season as an assistant at Oklahoma.
Our workouts didn’t start in the wrestling room. They started at Panera Bread with cups of coffee and breakfast. We would talk little wrestling and more about school, life, family and other current events. Once we finished, we would make our way over to the wrestling room.
No live wrestling, no mundane repetitive drilling and no weight-cutting of any kind. We centered in on outside-the-box techniques and improving in positions where I could control the match, the clock and my opponent all at the same time.
Fast forward to the 2003 NCAA Championships. I entered the tournament as the #3 seed. In the first round, I wrestled an opponent who had beaten me earlier in the season. I reversed the loss and moved on to the next round.
In the second round, I wrestled an opponent I had beat just weeks earlier by major decision with several ‘high thy’ leg turns resulting in several back points. This was something Barry and I had been working on in our individual workouts for months. This time the match would come to an end with a closer score but his decision to not choose bottom and forego a possible escape or reversal became the difference. My opponent’s name was Rashad Evans.
In the quarterfinals, after being taken down in the first period, I ended the match with a defensive fall from the bottom position. My stunned opponent looked on in disbelief as they raised my hand. Who gets pinned when they are in the top position, right? He did. By an uncommon position Barry and I had been playing around with all winter.
In the semi-finals I would win a tightly contested match where I would ride out my opponent in the ultimate 30-second tie-breaker. Both wrestlers did not get the opportunity from the bottom position as with today’s rules (which are much more fair). Again, our commitment to working on my top game had paid off.
On Saturday morning, at the final weigh-in I stepped on the scale. It read 169lbs. The weigh-in master asked “You’re Waller, right?” “Yes,” I responded. I can only guess he was mistaking me for someone in the 165 pound weight class that had lost his mind over night.
Nervous was an understatement for my emotions prior to the last match I would ever wrestle. I went to Barry to talk about my current emotional state. “Lets take a walk.” he said. As we strolled a lap around the circular hallway under Kemper Arena in Kansas City, Barry asked questions. Not about wrestling. Our conversation was much more like those mornings at Panera Bread over coffee. We even laughed a bit.
Heading into the third period and with a 4-2 lead, my opponent once again chose the neutral position foregoing any possible escape or reversal points. My best guess for his decision is that he had scouted my earlier matches and had seen my improved top position that had carried me into the finals. Another takedown and a riding time point led me to a 7-2 decision and an NCAA title.
That lone 3x5 index card and its message has stayed with me throughout my life and with each and every passing day it continues to mean more and more.
What we all fear the most in life is change. That’s normal. Change has uncertainty tied to it. I think back to that quote realizing that everything in life is in an evolving state. That includes the sport of wrestling. In order to become better at your passion and reach your ultimate goal you must be willing to change with it. Those changes can include your body, your mind and your current thoughts and rituals.
By doing the same things and abiding by the same routines, you can almost guarantee the same results. And for most people that will suffice. The real challenge is recognizing that change is inevitable and if you’re not willing to buy into that idea, your results will follow suit.
Winning cannot be your only goal. What should consume more of your pursuit toward greatness is having a plan that’s centered on learning, working and even changing to better yourself every day. But the change has to start and come from within you. No one can give it to you. And success will come. But be patient because it doesn’t happen over night.
My advice? Try starting with a cup of coffee and some breakfast.
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